The Loss of a Friend
by slytherin's daughter
Summary: Severus Snape has had enough. The end of his life changed many others. Can one life make the lives of many better? Or worse? Will Lily his ex-bestfriend mourn him? Or celebrate his death? Warning: Character death, suicide, abuse
1. in the beginning

He sat on the Astronomy tower, alone in the dead on night. He knew he was a coward, he was about to kill himself after all. But he had nothing.

No **money**.

No **family.**

No **friends**.

The lack of money was caused by his father, the useless drunk. Spending his spineless mother's money on alcohol, starving his family but mostly his son of food and new, fitting clothes.

He doesn't count his _mother _and _father_ as family, family wouldn't hit family. His mother was weak, never standing up for herself or her son. A real mother wouldn't hex or curse her own child just because her husband said it would make her child _normal_, not magical or as his father says a _freak_.

He also didn't have true friends; his 'friends' were only his friend because of his skills. They would abandon him in a second if he wasn't so good at classes.

**Alone.**

**Hated.**

**Worthless.**

That was what he was. Those three words are what he will forever be, no matter how old he is, no matter how accomplished he is.

He looked at the ground far, far beneath him. The Moon loomed over head, bright in the eerie darkness.

He put his note onto the handrail, the pale parchment shining, the red ink of his suicide note looking like blood. It was quite ironic, the ink red as blood, red like the blood he would spill when he dies.

The note was pitiful really, but it was the only way he could express his feelings without ridicule.

He smiled and closed his eyes as a peaceful expression appeared on his face. He wasn't going to suffer anymore; no one could hurt him anymore.

He gripped the banister as he slowly slid off it.

There was the sound of a falling object and a thud.

An owl hooted while a red-headed girl tossed and turned in her sleep, a bad feeling settling into her stomach.

* * *

**Disclamer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Please Review!**


	2. found

**To everyone reading this is the sad version of The Loss of a Friend. I will post the happier version soon.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!**

Chapter 2.

Today was a good day. Lily woke up earlier than normal and she could re-read her Charms homework and James Potter stopped bothering her!

Sighing, Lily wished she could have her best friend back. She knew it was stupid ignoring Severus after he called her a mudblood but he didn't need to call her that filthy word.

Oh! Lily just remembered she needed to talk to Hagrid about the unicorns, Professor Kettleburn was going to show them in care of magical creatures and Lily needed to know their eating habits.  
Walking across the grounds towards Hagrid's hut, Lily spotted a black cloak. Knowing the cloak could confuse or even hurt some creatures, Lily ran towards it to pick the cloak up.

It wasn't just a cloak.

Severus was there!

"Severus!" Lily screamed, "help! Professors! Come quickly, he's hurt!"

Lily could hear Fang barking, someone was yelling. But Lily could only focus on the body in front of her, the pool of dried blood surrounding it.

Kneeling down Lily tried to feel of a pulse but- she was pushed out of the way by McGonagall who quickly conjured a stretcher and levitated Severus onto in.

Lily could only stare at the puddle of blood.

She heard the professor rushing inside; most likely towards the hospital wing. Turning around Lily quickly followed McGonagall needing to know if Sev is okay and needing to see him if he is-

Lily couldn't even think of the other option, it was too horrible to think about. Lily broke out into a sprint to hear Madam Pomfrey say…

* * *

**He he he... I'm evil! I've left you with a cliffy!**

**Don't worry I will post the next chapter soon.**


	3. the aftermath

**Sorry for taking ages life got annoyingly busy. Again.**

**A new story will come out soon, when my beta starts beta-ing again and stops being so slow.**

**Ah well that's life.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Anyone who had ideas where this could go please review or pm me, just don't expect to get a reply because apparently I am working too hard so my family are dragging me on holiday somewhere (over the rainbow).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Chapter 3** sad

"He…he died instantly, without pain. There is one less student in the school, a student that we failed to protect. A student we have lost forever, aren't we supposed to protect the children, Minerva?"

It was too much, Lily couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Sev died, alone. Without hope or friends, sad enough to end his own life

She could faintly hear McGonagall but it was as if the professor was talking from a long way away.

"Yes but we have failed a child, are there other children we are unknowingly failing? Or is it just Severus? And oh—"

Lily collapsed unconscious, unable to take in the death of her ex-best friend.

**(LE)(SS)(PP)(MM)(AD)(HS)(JP)(SB)(RB)(LM)(NM)(BL)(R L)(TR)(RL)(LV)(TMR)(AM)(FL)(AL)(HG)(HP)**

It was so cold, the Earth itself seemed like it has lost all of its warmth. She had failed, wasn't she supposed to be his friend? She had failed as a human, as a gryffindor, as Lily. He was so lonely the first time she met him, so hungry for human warmth and friendship, even when every slytherin said he shouldn't be friends with a 'mudblood' he still was loyal to her, and how did she repay him? She abandoned him.

Leaving him alone.

Lost.

Hurt.

Broken.

Without anyone to comfort him, and Lily knew she would _never _forgive her self. 'Nequando' _never._

Opening her eyes Lily could see Professor McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey and Headmaster Dumbledore. Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall had red eyes, the red was from crying and even Headmaster Dumbledore was gloomy, his robes were black and the twinkle that was always in his eyes was… _gone _. She understood though, they didn't like Severus but they didn't want him to die, even professor Dumbledore didn't and he normally ignored the slytherins for the gryffindors, no one was perfect after all.

**Well this is a sad part isn't it?**


	4. secret

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter  
Please tell me if you spot any mistakes!  
For all you hurt/comfort lovers out there I've got a hurt/comfort fic called To Gain a Friend. The story is about what would happen if Severus survived.  
Now on with the story!**

"Professors, Mr Snape has left this note, it's for Miss Evans" Nobody noticed when Professor Kettleburn appeared, they just knew he was there. But at the moment the usually indifferent professor was looking stressed as he held out a letter to Lily. A letter with Severus' last words on it. Severus' handwriting was spiky and flowing like normal but Lily, who has read Severus' writing for years, could see a faint tremor in the writing.

_To Lily Evans or whoever can be bothered to read this._

_I guess I'm dead or dying it's not like anyone would care anyway. Not for my worthless self and for those who think I'm being melodramatic try living my life, sixteen years of being called worthless and freak does screw you up. In my pitiful existence all I own is my potions journal which Lily will have, she's the only one who will understand it anyway. Lily… you are…were my best friend, the only one who trusted me. Look what I did with that trust; everything I touch gets screwed up in end. Thanks for being the only one who cared, a least for a little while. Merlin knows I'll die of a heart attack if my Mother and Father care about me. My Mother… please get her some help, as much as we don't care about each other I don't want her dead and death will happen when I'm not there to take the brunt of my father's rage._

What she read shocked her more than the admission of his mother's care or lack of was the admission in the next paragraph. She knew Severus' home life was dark and he was at least neglected she never knew about **that **he never even hinted it.

The professors grew worried as Lily went into shock and wouldn't reply. It was only when a mild calming draught was given to her she could reply.

"Severus…" She whimpered, it pained her to say anymore but she continued, "Severus'…Father…"

**A/N mwah ha ha!** **I'm evil! Okay, I'll admit it I'm stuck. Should I go into detail about the (child) abuse Severus has faced? (If so the rating has to be moved up into M)**

**Please review or pm me with the answers! I can't put a new chapter up otherwise!**


	5. Horace Slughorn

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

_What happened in the last chapter:  
The professors grew worried as Lily went into shock and wouldn't reply. It was only when a mild calming draught was given to her she could reply._

_"Severus…" She whimpered, it pained her to say anymore but she continued, "Severus'…Father…"_

**Chapter START!**

"Hurt him…hurt him really badly. How…how could I not notice? I live in the same block as him, how?" Lily broke off sobbing, tears dripping down her cheeks. She looked awful and quite ill, like all of the life had been drained from her.

Madam Pomfrey obviously noticed as she barged through the mass of teachers to usher Lily into the bed next to where the professors were. Lily was quickly fed another calming draught mixed with in a strong sleeping draught. It quickly knocked her out and she lay there, unable to escape the pain even when she was asleep. She whimpered her brow creased with dry tear marks running down her face.

"Well?" Madam Pomfrey whispered, "Go to my office, we don't want her to wake up."

The professors quickly moved to Madam Pomfrey's office not wanting to wake Lily up, or worse anger the Dragon Matron.

The atmosphere of the room was very gloomy and sad. All of the teachers felt a sense of failure and pain.

Madam Pomfrey covered it up by acting calm and logical but there was a tightness around her eyes that wasn't there before.

"I will find Horace and inform him unless he already knows."

Everyone nodded, they, even the gryffindors could hear the unspoken threat 'if you know Mr Snape is dead and _you didn't care_ _I will hurt you_ so badly you couldn't walk for a _month_ because even if you didn't like him he _wasn't evil_ and I don't care that he wasn't a pureblood or rich _you prejudiced slug_!'

Or it was something like that; no one knew what goes on in _her _mind.

* * *

"Professor?" Poppy asked, "Are you in here?"

"Yes I am! What do you want Poppy? Please come in! I'm afraid you'll have to wait a while these potions can't be postponed or they'll explode. You will know that already of course."

"It's about—"

"Ah! Madam, if I may, have you seen Severus? He wasn't in the dorm this morning and I was wondering if he was in the hospital wing. You'll know if he was there as you _are _the nurse."

"Severus—"

"Severus cannot be found which isn't strange for him as he is a loner but he is always in the dorms in the morning as he doesn't go to breakfast early. It's a shame as the boys in gryffindor make the morning lively and wake you up. You should know them as they are in the Quidditch team and they always end up in the hospital wing one way or other. But I can't not like Quidditch! One of my old students, one that left last year is now in the Holyhead Harpies! Already!"

"Horace-!"

"And that—"

"Severus has been found!"

"Why didn't you say that earlier? Severus' friends will be relieved!"

"It's just that…"

She had to swallow the lump in her throat, it wasn't often a student died in Hogwarts. And there were no suicides attempted or not in Hogwarts for the last 50 years. Long before she started working here.

"Severus isn't with us anymore."

**Dun Dun Dunnnnn!**


	6. thoughts

**Umm…sorry? I'm still alive and kicking, but I worry about my living status as soon as you people figure out how to review or PM bullets. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"What?" Horace asked, "What do you mean? Hogwarts is the best school in Britain. He couldn't have changed schools."

"No—"Poppy didn't want to spell it out to him but she would have to, and it pained her to do so. "Severus Snape is gone! Dead! He's not ever coming back. Your failure being a head of house caused him to kill himself. All of us are guilty but you are the guiltiest of all of us! Ignoring the rest for your Slug club members, all you are care about is wealth and talent! You are a blight on the good name of Hogwarts!" Poppy was furious. She had enough of his lack of care! He'd done it for years! His so-called collecting, only caring or the better off or smarter students, she hoped that he would feel guilt, but somehow Poppy didn't think he _could _feel guilt.

Poppy stormed out of the room and slammed the dungeon door behind her, leaving a shocked, sad and confused Slughorn behind her.

Horace looked at the clock; it was too early for a drink even thought it was what he wanted (and needed).

He knew he wasn't the best head of house, hell, he wasn't the best teacher! But he _did _care for his students, even if no one realized it. Not even his co-workers. But to have Poppy look at him like that, pure anger and disbelief, it hurt. What's more his _student died._ _His student _from _his house_. Something he could have stopped but he was ignorant. Ignorance is bliss apparently, but the pain you feel later doesn't make the bliss worth it.

Nothing does

* * *

He would finish the potions and then have a drink. He didn't know what else to do, a child so young, with his whole life in front of him. As shallow Horace was, he didn't wish death or pain on anyone. (Not including You-know-who, he couldn't be called anything but a monster really.)

Minerva McGonagall was currently searching Severus Snape's file, his relation file to be exact, for information about who to contact about Severus.

There was only one contact, an Eileen Snape who was apparently his mother.

She wasn't looking forward to that conversation, as she, the head of Gryffindor would most likely be sent with Horace. She wasn't angry like Poppy is, but sad instead. She had lost some of her students, both young and old, not really young, like eleven, thank goodness but her fifth years and older have died. From illness, both magical and muggle, accidents, potions, creatures and _cars_, she thought they were called anyway, the large metal death-traps. And Horace was going through the death of his student because he _killed himself. _Which was, most likely, all of _teachers' fault_, for being _so blind to a student's pain_.

She needed a drink. Perhaps she will allow herself to drink in school, just this once.

* * *

So Snivellus was dead. So? Who cared? The bastard would go to hell anyway; the greasy slime ball couldn't do anything good to save his life! Of course he helped a bit. Some extra _notes_, a couple of _letters_ and some _presents_ and he'd killed himself. Oh well. He was just getting to the good part. Maybe he could do it to the slut instead? She deserved it. But so did he. Decisions , decisions.


End file.
